If ever there is a competition to determine which public service deserves to be recognized as having provided an excellent service, the prize unanimously lands at the meteorological services for their stunning performance during the super storm which was called Edilson. But the prize must be shared with all the private and public radio stations as well as the inept and stultifying MBC TV. All these bodies were under the spell of Mr Beebeejaun, the head of the Met Office, who was enjoying his moment in the spotlight to dish out inanities which have cost the economy at least one billion rupees. At exactly the moment when all the world weather stations were saying that Edilson was no threat at all, the Met Office was getting the Mauritians to prepare for what he must have known was just wind. If he did not know, then he deserves to be booted out of the Vacoas office.

When Edilson did not live up to the unscientific predictions of Mr Beebejaun, the latter borrowed a term from an established weather station and said that this was not in fact a cyclone but a variant of the monsoon. Monsoons bring heavy rains but this Beebeejaun monsoon was dry. Only in Mauritius can this kind of situation happen. The authorities must address the lack of professionalism and ineptitude that pervade the Met Office. Alarmist declarations when there is no cause for alarm are unpatriotic. We are left to wonder what hyperboles will be used if – God forbid- this ‘plaisir’ country is threatened by a tsunami.

But what the Met Office has done to the ordinary Mauritian is unforgivable. You do know that the traditional meal which is prepared during a cyclone- I mean a “pukka” cyclone – is ‘carri poule and farata’. This curry must be prepared at the time when there are howling winds and thunder and lightning. There is no doubt that the elemental forces unleashed by a real cyclone enhance the final taste of the curry and the exquisiteness of the flaky ‘farata’.

You must wait for the winds to whistle prior to their howling before the gas cooker is lit and the ingredients of the curry can be started on. Any non-compliance with this simple procedure will not deliver a cyclone-induced curry. The people kept waiting and waiting for the thunder and the lightning and there were discussions and even disputes in every household as to which comes first, the thunder or the lightning. Fortunately, the electricity was not disconnected and the Internet came to the rescue about the answer. Had there been a cyclone worthy of being called one, there would have been no discussions, etc.

By the time Edilson moved away from our ‘plaisir’ country the chicken had gone bad and the dough had gone bad. Not only was this a terrible waste in material terms but the psychological damage caused by a deprivation of ‘carri poule’ and ‘farata’ will leave unforeseen and unforeseeable consequences for the people. Mr Beebeejaun please keep away from predictions about the weather. We are going to contract out the weather services to US navy.